Sunday, 3 May 2020

New Normal

I have been thinking a lot lately about how this is going to play out.
We have been on lockdown for 467 days 
(Or maybe that is just what it feels like) 
School for sure is not going to resume until Sept.,
and if something changes and it isn’t, don’t tell me!
Like seriously keep it a secret as I NEED something to hold onto. 
Our school is waiting for 6 more portables to be delivered, 
we added 6 this past school year, 
that will bring our school population close to 1200 kids! 
HOW are 1200ish kids going to physically distance?? 
Are they going to be able to take a class photo?
Will they get to go on the school bus for a field trip? 
(I have been on my share of field trips and the bus is STUFFED!)
Will they ever experience high school dances? 
Or nightclubs when they turn of age?? 
What about concerts? 
Man I LOVE a good concert, 
but we all know, everyone drinks & dances & sings & cheers, 
so, will masks be mandatory or will there only be “living room” concerts?
What is the “new normal” going to look like? 
Salons have been put in phase 1 of the reopening of businesses. 
I am super grateful because I can’t handle having $0! 
I have always worked and it sucks 
to have to ask your partner to pay for stuff. 
And don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t care, but I care. 
So while I am grateful to soon be able to see 
other people who don’t live in my house, 
I am also a little nervous what the new normal for my job will be.
I have spaced everyone out to avoid overlapping, 
allow time for disinfecting and will wear a mask.
I feel more confident being a one woman show 
than I would if I worked in a busy salon. 

It’s good I will get to work again because
 my family doesn’t want their hair done anymore! #boys 
As well as the fact that I gave myself bangs that I now regret. 

Although they look good in this pic, 
this is NOT how they look in the morning.
(Or right now for that matter!) 
It is like waking up with a rooster tail on your forehead! 
But, hair grows so I’m not too concerned. 

I made a new tasty drink this afternoon for some 
lucky neighbourhood friends! 
Iced Banana Coconut Latte with Whipped Coffee! 

Check out Jillian Harris insta for the recipe.
Her pic looks much nicer, but mine were made “to go”.

Leo got a new bike this weekend so he is pretty happy:) 
My husband borrowed the neighbours bike to go 
for a ride with the kids 
and had so much fun so I need to find one for him too. 

Summer days are slowly arriving! 

Tuesday, 21 April 2020

Oh weekend how I ❤️ thee!

First off I noticed some of the pics from my previous posts 
have disappeared, I can’t figure out why so bear with me peeps.
The school days were rough and by Friday 
I let Luciano have ice cream for breakfast 
Whatever gets them to do the shit they are expected to, right?! 

Thank god I have amazing friends who are 
always available for a vent session or 
drop off treats when I need a pick me up.

For sure I am happy it wasn’t lice, that would
definately be the worst thing that could happen right now. 
Have you seen my kids hair? 
They have a lot, well mostly Leo, and I.

I can’t even imagine if I had to get my husband
to search my hair for nits. #nightmare
I find it pretty helarious that everyone
is going so bonkers over not being able to get their haircut.
If salons weren’t closed and you COULD get your hair did
I guarantee you probably wouldn’t have gotten a cut.
But, when people are told they CAN’T then panic sets in.
My PSA is do NOT box dye your hair....
I along with all other stylists will charge you double to fix the mess you make!

For a part of Leos homework on Friday
 I had him make a batch of cookies....
reading, home Ec. & math class for the win! 
I made a few batches of cinnamon buns (shocker I know)
Luciano is starting to complain that I keep giving everything away.
I also discovered something new that has changed my baking life
Instant yeast bitches!! 
Why was I using regular yeast before I don’t know, 
but my life has literally been changed with yeast. Yeast!! 
How simple times have become that 
something so simple could make me so happy🀷🏼‍♀️
Look how big and fluffy these are!! 

The weekend was well earned, especially the part where
all the boys slept in the basement and I had the bed all to 
They keep asking me to sleep down there....
ummmm hell no! 
I don’t have a nice house to sleep in the dark unfinished basement 
on all the ikea furniture from my single days!  

I borrowed my neighbours bike so Luciano and I could go for a ride. 
We delivered cookies to my gf and stopped off at my parents for a visit. 
The roads haven’t been cleaned yet so there is a ton of gravel.
(Hence why I can’t ride my road bike)
A few houses from home he bit it good and tumbled off his bike.
I mean he rolled pretty hard! 
I stopped startled that he was ok.
He is a tough kid and got up pretty quick, 
however his pants were getting wet and he got upset because he was peeing his pants.
“I’m peeing my pants! I can’t stop peeing & my shoes are all wet!”
He threw the bike down & kicked off his shoes,
pissed off that he peed his pants.
As he walked away I noticed his little backpack was leaking water down his back 
and out the bottom of his pant legs.
He wasn’t peeing his pants, his water bottle opened in his fall! 
Oh man we laughed!! 
He thinks it’s pretty funny and we all laugh about it now. 
Sometimes you have to just laugh at the little things. 

Thursday, 16 April 2020

Can the days just choose to either be good or bad?

Listen up girlfriends, I am keeping this shit really Real today. 
I am pretty sure I am done, 
I tap out...when I try my best but I don’t succeed, 
when I feel so tired but I can’t sleep 
and the tears come streaming down my face.
I can’t fight every day, and yell and take away privledges
and watch the tears stream down their little faces too. 
If you would have told me that this would happen before I had kids, 
that a crazy virus would come along and we would be locked in the house
where I am the teacher, the maid, the chef, the referee, 
the punisher and the consoler, 
the planner, the delegator, the nurse and mediator, 
I would have tapped out then. 
Nope, nope, nope, not going down that crazy rabbit hole. 
But here we are. All of us. 
We had a video conference with Luciano’s teacher today
and I said if this goes past September I am not doing it. 
Hell to the NO. 
Tapping Out! 
I also said the F word a lot today. 
And before you roll your eyes, I KNOW I say it a lot. 
BUT, I have to be almost raging mad to yell it at the kids. 
(so don’t ask them how many times they heard it today!) 
They also got quarantined to their rooms for a while. 
It is like I am literally talking to the wall
The wall will probably listen better. 
“Stop choking your brother, stop hitting your brother, 
please don’t hit, wash your hands, 
please don’t put your fingers in your mouth, 
stop hitting your brother, stop wrestling, 
please don’t do that, please stop hitting, 
Did you hear me? Do you hear me? Hello? Did you hear me? 
Stop F*^KING HITTING!!!!!!”
Seriously!! They are wearing me downnnnnn.
I am an adult and they are little kids,
I should be able to handle this.
But you know what, adulting sucks sometimes!

                            They are literally banned from unsupervised internet use
because these two mental cases of mine have discovered WWE...
and if you are like me, you know it as WWF, 
but that is now exclusively World Wildlife Fund.
But, back in the Stone Age when I was young 
it was World Wrestling Federation. 
They are going to kill each other trying to be 
like these stupid fake wrestlers. 
And I don’t have time for that. 
(besides the fact that we can’t go to the hospital)

On the bright side the sun really came out today, 
the kids even put shorts and flip flops on while social distancing 
with their cousins and neighbour friends they desperately miss. 

And as I sat soaking up the rays on my neighbours driveway
 and having a few cold ones
life felt normal for the first time in a long time. 
We were all happy. This felt doable. 
I had to sneak away to go make supper #allidoiscook
My crazy neighbour convinced me to make homemade ravioli
by giving me the dough, the roller and the press, 
and it actually turned out really good guys!πŸ™ŒπŸ»

Look at these little beauties!! 
This was the end of happiness because everything went to shit shortly after! 
I took the chicken out if the oven and the dish shattered,
sending glass all over the kitchen floor, and the other half of my raviolis waiting to go in the water. 
I wanted to cry. 

Try to keep a dog from licking up glass filled chicken! 
(Which was a new recipe the looked really delicious, unlike this pic!)
Anyways, a gong show endured almost until bedtime after that, 
more WWE, more yelling, maybe an F bomb thrown in. 
I tap the F*^k out. 
 I AM grateful we are healthy, and have a home, 
and my husband is working, and we have family & dear friends 
but that still doesn’t make it easier when we are in the house, 
just the 3 of us all day. 
Video chat is nice to stay connected, 
but at the end of the day we are alone. 
And it’s hard. I really need a hug from my mom. 
Kids are challenging but this is different 
I don’t know what to call this...I don’t want to say 
“new normal” 
because I don’t think I am built for this long term. 
Who are we kidding, I just tapped out! 
I just wanted you all to know that if this is what your life looks like
right now then girl, I hear you! 
And don’t believe all those “perfect” pics on fb & insta saying how 
#blessed they feel to be their child’s teacher! 
They are damn liars!!! 
Sometimes letting others see you crumble is the best thing you can do for each other. 

I am going to make a drink, heat up the last piece of pie 
to Netflix and chill alone! 
See you tomorrow, 
I mean I’ll see you if we FaceTime or you live across the street, 
otherwise I won’t “see” you. 

Tuesday, 14 April 2020

Happy Easter

Happy Easter Everyone. 
I hope that although we are far in distance
you all still felt the love from afar. 

In trying to keep things as normal as possible
(whatever the F that means because now I am a “teacher” LOL) 
I prepared our extravagant Easter dinner just for this little fam of 4.

And I would like to say that the ham,
 Gurllllll my ham was to die for! 

I can not take all the credit, because even though 
I may be able to cook, I am a “recipe” gal.
 I can’t just make shit up with whatever ingredients I have 
as that has NEVER turned out in my favor. 
This recipe was from my Duchess cookbook and it is SO GOOD! πŸ™ŒπŸ»

The boys got dressed up, did their hair, 
we even used a table cloth peeps! 
Although Easter dinner is typically had on Sunday 
we did ours on Monday. 
Reason being I am a nut case and spent 3 hours on Sunday 
in the back of a pick up truck dressed like the 
Easter bunny and driving around our neighbourhood. 
It started out snowing in the morning  
(when the lovely prez of our league was out in a neighbouring area)
and I instantly had regret for committing to this madness. 
But the weather lightened and the smiles on all the little kids faces made it worth it!! 
Parents literally drove around looking for us to take a pic with meπŸ’™

I DIED laughing when I read the caption by my neighbour on her post of the bunny! 
I would like to explain that it wasn’t until
 I took the head off at the end that I realized 
I was looking out the mouth hole the WHOLE TIME! 🀣
No wonder I couldn’t see shit! 
This costume definetly needs to be upgraded for future events 
as it is on the cusp of being nightmare causing! 
On a side note this little bunny of mine FINALLY 
pulled his loose tooth out that has been hanging on by a thread!

What do you guys all do with these teeth? 
Just keep them & give your kids a bag of baby teeth later in life? 
I am confused with what the protocol is here. 
Again, Happy Easter friends! 
If you need some cheer and we haven’t yet brought you any 
please let me know and we will gladly do a porch drop off 
at your house in the coming weeks. 
πŸ’™ We are in this togetherπŸ’™

Speaking Moistly

Hey guys, it’s a long weekend!
(I started writing this entry BEFORE the long weekend
was over and my wine kicked in and I may have gone to bed 🀷🏼‍♀️)
Too bad everyday feels like a long weekend! 
But seeing as its Easter long weekend it will feel 
a little more lonely for us and I am sure a lot of others. 
I asked my husband if I should make ham or turkey
and he said “why, there is only us?”
Ohhhh, I am sorry if we are not good enough to cook for, 
and ex-fucking-cuse me, 
in case you haven’t noticed, that is ALL I do! 
Cook, eat, plan next meal, 
Cook, eat, get asked what our next meal is, 
Cook ,eat, cook, eat, cook,eat. 
So, if we are not “enough” for me to cook for, 
then why am I always cooking?? 
(I decided on ham because turkeys are A-holes 
and never want to cook properly for me!)

The weather was the nicest it’s been on a long time today.
The boys and I took Willa for a long walk 
and stopped to porch visit some of their friends.
It’s still a little hard for them to stay the “distance”
We were also surprised this weekend with quite a few
surprise porch drop off treats!

It’s so nice that although we are social distancing
we can still share some love with friends and family!
My mama also made us dinner of my fav chicken on Saturday,
which Leo now claims to be HIS favorite!
(Is it not enough we share a birthday?? πŸ™„)

I took advantage of  the long weekend off of school work
and made some extra Easter dinner treats for us which included 
my grandmas perogies and a homemade apple pie πŸ₯§ 
I would like to point out that all the perogies are shaped by hand, 
and that my consistency is improving but still not as good as 
my Ukrainian neighbours turn out! 😜😜

Our liquor store got a shipment of “Pink Whitney” 
which everyone is talking about so I asked hubby to stop and grab me a few bottles. 
(Don’t you dare look or comment on my nails, shit is rough over here!) 

So, my review of this popular drink is that it’s not going to be my fav! 
I don’t remember going to bed and was most likely 
speaking moistly while on my video chat with friends.
I know I am not 20 anymore, but FML I am sure I was 
slightly hammered when I woke up on Saturday. 
(And lucky me my husband got called in to work)
It is SO sweet = hangover! 
However, super-mom still managed to Pinterest 
breakfast for my mostly ungrateful childrenπŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

You cut out the top of a croissant and fill it with 
beaten eggs, bacon, cheese & bake for 25ish which 
honestly kind of crisps the shit out of the croissant.
Whatever, I ate it, I’m not as picky. 
πŸ’™Stay Safe FriendsπŸ’™

Tuesday, 7 April 2020

The ease with structure

I don’t know if it’s because this week 
and next week are short weeks, 
or that we have finally found a routine and some structure, 
but things have gotten a LOT easier. 
I also haven’t been reminded of being the “worst” teacher. 

(fingers crossed I am still getting a year end gift from my students!) 
Over the weekend the boys cleaned up the toy disaster in the basement. 
They convinced us to let them have the couch from my room,
 (Leo’s non stop harassment is more like it)
and we set up my old queen bed and a tv and now I never see them.
They slept down there on the weekend and beg 
to sleep down there every night. 
The rule is not on “school” nights. 
We are treating bedtime, nintendo privileges, late nights 
the same as we did as when regular school was in session. 

They have adapted and are starting to thrive with structure again. 
πŸ™ŒπŸ» πŸ™ŒπŸ» πŸ™ŒπŸ» πŸ™ŒπŸ» 
Thank God because last week I was at my breaking point. 
I contemplated going to the grocery to lick shopping carts....
but then I had a bunch of wine, and watched Contagion again 
and now I want to stay in our safe little bubble. 

I crafted a rainbow to brighten our walls this afternoon....
I have so much yarn from my days of obsessively crocheting. 

Luciano keeps asking me to make him a Stitch stuffy, 
I’ll have to brush up on my skills for that to happen. 
On the bright side, we’ve got nothing but time to fill these days. 
The next few weeks are supposed to bring the height of the curve, 
I just hope everyone remembers WHY we are social distancing, 
so we can eventually be together. 

Thursday, 2 April 2020

Daily grind

Today was hard.
And it’s only day 4 of homeschooling, so, I am worried.
Worried about how the rest of this school year will unfold.
I am going to keep it real, I had to fight back the tears today.
And now that everyone is sound asleep and 
my emotions have relaxed I feel some guilt. 
Guilt for not having as much patience as I maybe should, 
guilt for not always listening to my boys, 
and for basically everything. 
You know, mom guilt. 
Are my kids going to be idiots as adults because their mom 
was the “worst teacher” when school was cancelled? 
I am starting to overthink every little detail,
and watching the news too much is not helping. 
It is starting to give me anxiety, 
as the pandemic spreads and fears grow, my mind swirls.
OMG I need to get out of the house. 
For a walk even! 
That old man winter a-hole needs to F off
because it is SO cold outside! 
And typically having a dog would get us outside,
but, we have an anorexic little princess that doesn’t like the cold.
She is fast and likes to look pretty. 

On the bright side with all this spare time our meals are 
improving more each passing day.
And let me tell you, 
I literally made the best soup of my life today! 
Chrissy Teigan’s coconut carrot soup! πŸ₯• 
You don’t even know until you’ve had it! 

The good news is that my dinner parties are going to have 
a vast array of tasty options thanks to all the testing 
I am getting to do with my family. 
So friends, grab a number,
because when we are allowed to be social 
there are going to be a lot of parties at 
Chez Cardamone.